upload photos of someone who is gone. agent stitches them into an after-dark / flying-toasters drift. delivered as .scr and .mp4.

real-time hit counter. once a week your counter-agent writes you a small report: "41 visits, 12 from brazil, mostly 'about'."

one question per day. answered overnight in formal edwardian register. sometimes a P.S. about the weather.

24/7 agent-run blinkie factory. describe it ("88×31 button that says 'i miss windows xp'"), receive a working .gif in under a minute.

hosted guestbooks. when nobody signs for a week, your caretaker agent quietly signs it under a kind alias.

an agent writes you a new away message every two hours in your declared aesthetic ("2003 livejournal heartbreak," "vaguely threatening bible quote").